chillin'

I have finished this year's biggest project and I'm tired. I wanna take a day to sleep or to forget all what is in connection with school. Last week I couldn't sleep; I couldn't eat; I had no time to live or just to have a breath. It was too crowded. I need a few days to go back to school and to the weekdays....
This project is the part of a competition for youth in Hungary. I took part in the 'arts' part of it. If I win I am going to be on velvet at college and it made the things much easier to me. So I'd be happy if I'd be good enough to win. Now at the moment the only thing I can do is to hope. So I trust to it.

These days when I was too busy I couldn't talk to my granny and it was the second bad thing. I needed to call her and check how she is and what she's doing to relax and say 'things gonna be alright' and I am soo sorry that I had no time to it. Today I called her and we talked for almost an hour. She's in a really bad mood. I don't marvel. It's a hellish bad situation and I hate all about it. I hate talking about it. And all the time when I call her she starts to describe her problem. She doesn't know that I can imagine what she's feeling now. It can be the hell itself. The pain and the fact that she has only a few weeks or months... shit. I hate it. I pray every night and ask the wonderful something or somebody who created our world to put an end to her suffering. I'd give all I have to let her live more and longer. She doesn't know me very well and I needed more time to show who I am and to get to know her better. But it seems it's too late to ask for anything. Time passes rapidly. Stop, time, stop! But now I feel quite good because she sounded happy. She told me about the falling snow; about winter; about the future and I told her my plans, too. Finally I think she relaxed and sounded pleased. So...so it's good. A little success.

School is too hard nowadays because I had no time to learn. My terminal report is more worse than before. I have never had a 3 or 2 before so I have to learn more in the second term. I tried but physics....yes. It's a bit strange because I'm quite good at maths and physics is very similar to it but I'm bad at physics. Ya. A difference between them.....

I do yoga! Not because of finding the right way or these kind of 'hókuszpókusz', but because of my back. It likes the yoga exercises. I'm more supple. I can do it with all my diseases and wheeze. And the main thing is that I enjoy doing it! No meditation, no nirvana and buddha and religious stuffs; only the exercises. Ya, I'll be a snake.......

Oookay I have to go, the books need me. Have a nice day.