I wrote this text in English and in Hungarian, too because 1:I have to practise writing and English 2: the topic I was writing about is as important that I had to translate it. The translation is not precise and the two text is not the same just almost. But I tried to translate my thoughts well.
I have a really big problem. I say big because it is big. or giant. I don't know. I'm not sure. But this problem is a good kind of problem and I don't wanna do it away. I like my problem.
Dad told me last week that he thinks I cannot focus on drawing. I cannot focus on anything important. I'm too straggling. Scatterbrained. Strange words and I don't know which is the right one.
But anyway he's right. No, the drawing part is not right, I'm better than last year; better than ever. I almost forgot to say that I succeed the first level of OKTV. I was in BP on Wednesday on the second round and the results come on next Wednesday. Bracket closed.
So what I wanted to say was this: I'm fine. I feel OK, I'm healthy and happy.
Is this all I wanted? then I've got it.
But I'm living in an other world.
This one would not be the right place for me. This would not be the right time for me. I wouldn't feel good if I open my eyes and wake up. I shocked. So now I'm living in a dream. In a warm, comfortable and happy dream. I don't wanna wake up. It is better. I'm fine thanks for asking. And nobody can destroy this peace. Because it is MY peace. Viva la hippies! Sorry but I don't know how to get it I've just found it somewhere. But I make use of it.
My dream defends me from fire, from school, from boys, from strangers, violance, crying, chagrin and sooo many other bad things. I'm lucky to have this shell where I can hide from real problems. I couldn't survive this year without it. I don't know what I'd do without it.
But this shell has one big drawback: it's a single place made only for me. And the key is my own so I can say who to share it with. Because if I open my eyes and destroy my dream I will wake up and realise where I am. And the truth is not so nice. I'd need a good reason; I wouldn't end dreaming just because why not. It's too safe. And I enjoy dreaming. I'm the big boss. Nobody hates me and ignores me.
But don't woory I know the date when I'll close the shop and start living in deed. That will be a scary moment. But I'll do it! Not now, but I'll do it......
maybe it is even not a dream only a nightmare..........
I have a really big problem. I say big because it is big. or giant. I don't know. I'm not sure. But this problem is a good kind of problem and I don't wanna do it away. I like my problem.
Dad told me last week that he thinks I cannot focus on drawing. I cannot focus on anything important. I'm too straggling. Scatterbrained. Strange words and I don't know which is the right one.
But anyway he's right. No, the drawing part is not right, I'm better than last year; better than ever. I almost forgot to say that I succeed the first level of OKTV. I was in BP on Wednesday on the second round and the results come on next Wednesday. Bracket closed.
So what I wanted to say was this: I'm fine. I feel OK, I'm healthy and happy.
Is this all I wanted? then I've got it.
But I'm living in an other world.
This one would not be the right place for me. This would not be the right time for me. I wouldn't feel good if I open my eyes and wake up. I shocked. So now I'm living in a dream. In a warm, comfortable and happy dream. I don't wanna wake up. It is better. I'm fine thanks for asking. And nobody can destroy this peace. Because it is MY peace. Viva la hippies! Sorry but I don't know how to get it I've just found it somewhere. But I make use of it.
My dream defends me from fire, from school, from boys, from strangers, violance, crying, chagrin and sooo many other bad things. I'm lucky to have this shell where I can hide from real problems. I couldn't survive this year without it. I don't know what I'd do without it.
But this shell has one big drawback: it's a single place made only for me. And the key is my own so I can say who to share it with. Because if I open my eyes and destroy my dream I will wake up and realise where I am. And the truth is not so nice. I'd need a good reason; I wouldn't end dreaming just because why not. It's too safe. And I enjoy dreaming. I'm the big boss. Nobody hates me and ignores me.
But don't woory I know the date when I'll close the shop and start living in deed. That will be a scary moment. But I'll do it! Not now, but I'll do it......
maybe it is even not a dream only a nightmare..........
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